After this Post, I know I look better in Skinny Jeans

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I call this my Neil Diamond jacket. When I wear it, I get a lot of stares. Some people don’t know what to say because it’s so loud, so Las Vegas. Here’s how I take a jacket that may be considered tacky, and make it ultra-cool (well, in my opinion). It’s vintage, I say late 70’s, maybe 80’s.  I’ve worn this to school drop-off and nearly tripped down the driveway, bell bottoms and wedges take serious walking skills.

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I’m a lover of a denim suit, all different shades and years, from new to old. Shredded tank is from Intermix, www.intermix.com High waisted pants, can be flattering when you want to show a sliver of skin – no one can tell if the skin is flabby, it’s an eye trick.

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Learn from my mistakes, wear higher heels with bell bottoms or hem them. I’m lazy and unless someone comes to my house to hem my clothing, I never do it – or I wait until I have an event the next day, and I’m in desperate mode. Wide leg/bell bottoms are from Free People, www.freepeople.com 

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This clutch was a gift from my mom’s friend, most likely from the 70’s. I see them all over these days – grab them when you see them at flea markets or Goodwill.

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Even though I have long legs, skinny jeans look better on me. I love a flattering pair of bell bottoms, but sometimes I feel like it’s too much – almost like I’m wearing a costume. That’s why mixing this Neil Diamond like jacket, makes this look less costume party and more about personal style – or maybe I’m just cheesy!!

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I’m thinking I should make these cut offs, kind of loving how these Free People jeans fit from behind. Not because I look so great, but the way the butt is designed, makes it flattering for most bodies. As you girls know, this is not always the case when trying on jeans. Any jeans that are baggy and comfortable, make your butt look non-existent – believe me, I know – I’m wearing a pair now.

 

Heels. Tight Jeans. Croissants. So Haute.

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Stacia. M.H.Bread and Butter Bakery. Marin County, California. 2015.

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I spotted Stacia on a weekday morning wearing high heels and tight jeans, all while balancing coffee and a kid. This is a rare sighting in the cute town of San Anselmo in Northern California.  I wasn’t surprised to learn Stacia had just moved to Marin County from San Francisco…and I was quite happy to see a mom making a solid effort, early on a weekday.

M.H. Bakery, www.mhbreadandbutter.com is my go to spot to write and eat “breakfast pastries”. I know, I probably shouldn’t be eating pastries so frequently, but I feel so Parisian, sitting in a cafe sipping coffee…how do they stay so thin again?

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Fashion Notes: Tank: Halogen from Nordstrom, Sweater: H&M, Jeans: Joie, Wedges: Banana Republic, Bag: Rebecca Minkoff

A little advice – jeans should be REALLY fitted! Especially if you don’t have an ample back side.

Most recently, Stacia worked at POPSUGAR, a lifestyle, pop-culture site.  www.popsugar.com 

 

Sex. Motherhood. Individuality. This Artist Provokes.

People have always asked me, “So Mara, you grew up with so many men in your life, are you the “girl” who has no women friends?” This is not the case, I adore women – and without my amazing sisters no one would validate my unique blend of Mara crazy.  Susan Copich, with her latest photographic series entitled “Domestic Bliss” reminds me of  long conversations I’ve had with so many of my friends, but especially my friend Susana.  The calls usually consist of me expressing my inner fantasies and engaging in dialogue about societal rules.

Susana usually reminds me that, I don’t follow that many rules, and sites my constant interactions with the authorities. But it’s not the rules I care so much about – it’s the offspring.  When we become mothers, we know as intuitive, intelligent and responsible women that we must adhere to some guidelines….like not escaping to India for three months to “find ourselves”, but instead taking yoga with an Indian instructor.  

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“Mommy Time” from Domestic Bliss Photo Series by Susan Copich (pictured above)

Adrienne Rich, the American Poet wrote about “Motherhood as an institution”, she freely through poetry revealed almost an obsession with retaining one’s self after becoming a mother. The above photograph to me, is an Adrienne Rich poem brought to life.

After I had a baby, I was generously invited by women I didn’t know to join a mommy group. From the first get together, I left feeling depressed.  I left the intellectual stimulation of my work at United Way to discuss baby blankets and teething.  My individuality seemed meaningless, I felt trapped in a sea of emptiness – and felt confused as the role of young woman and mature mother came together.  Leading a “traditional” life was not something I ever thought about, but it happened – and it happened when I was too young to understand the depth of my feelings.  Relating to other women because they have kids, is a ridiculous notion – and it made me feel like I didn’t belong in the club of motherhood.

Because none of my close friends were even in serious relationships at that time, I was lonely on planet motherhood..and forced to find friends who could relate. Only, that proved difficult. I remember meeting other mothers and thinking, are they satisfied being “only” mothers? They discussed their life with spouse and offspring like they were rock stars on stage…So why the hell did I feel like I needed a life outside all this domesticity?

NOW, I know, it’s because like Adrienne Rich, I was obsessed (without knowing) with retaining my self outside of motherhood. And this is when I decided to not discuss my children, when I was out at night. Little did I know, I was embarking on my own feminism experiment all while questioning social norms.

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“Mother’s Milk” from Susan Copich’s Domestic Bliss Photo Series (Susan pictured above)

Attachment and freedom. Sexuality, Individuality and Motherhood.  I’m writing this as I multi-task giving love and care to my youngest, who’s home sick from school.  Liam saw the above shot, and with eyes wide open said “If you made me do that, I would push you and run”. It’s hard to examine something like motherhood without realizing the economic component of Feminism. I have choices, I was able to stay home today and write.  I don’t have to worry about work- child care..it’s easy for me. I have privilege, and therefore; choices. 

Kids open you up to so much, but allow you the excuse to not take risks. Motherhood is a constant struggle as an individual to adhere to social norms, even when you think they are bullshit and stifling.  The struggle is the judgement that comes with rejecting those unwritten rules.

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Susan and her daughters. Upstate New York. January 2015.

Fashion Notes: Jacket: Helmut Lang, Black Skinny Jeans: Citizens of Humanity, Boots: Ugg, Sunglasses: Morgenthal Frederics. The girls are wearing leggings by Carrots, Down Jackets by Canada Goose and Boots by Bogg

Susan Copich: Susan is the photographer and artist behind the acclaimed photo series, “Domestic Bliss”.  With a number of collections housed at The Moen Mason Gallery, http://www.moenmasongallery.com.  Susan’s latest, “Domestic Bliss” series is beyond worthy of the attention.   This particular series in Susan’s body of work is based on her personal experiences as a mother and has touched a nerve.  From the moment my friend forwarded me the link to Susan’s photographs, I immediately wanted to talk about these shots.  Susan captures the struggle, and poked fun of it at the same time. Susan Copich’s series is so thought provoking, It has caused me to intellectualize the shit out of women – motherhood- partnership -Susan made me think and that’s the sign of a great artist.  http://susancopich.com

 

 

 

Head Scarf at Drop-Off. Chic Baby, Chic.

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Lala. San Anselmo, California. October 2014.

I realize this photo is not the best quality, but I had to capture this mom’s style. And all I had was my old iPhone. Something about a head scarf and oversized glasses brings me to a happy place – a place filled with glamorous women, part bohemian 1970’s and part Italian bomb shell.. I guess it’s the Sophia Loren factor.

I’ve used scarves for skirts, tops, bras and for my head – my mom once made me wait in the car as a teen, because my scarf as a “shirt” was inappropriate to visit my uncle in the hospital… well, now i’m an adult, so I can wear my scarf as I please. And let me start with my head….

xxxx