Haute Temporary Butt Implants…

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I decided to be a Kardashian for Halloween.  We all know, it was just an excuse for me to stuff pull ups in my jeans, and finally get to exist in society with an impressive backside. I promise you I’m deep and soulful, but I have many sides, and one includes me clicking on a You Tube video explaining how to achieve a larger butt by utilizing pull ups.

Pull Ups, as you know are used as night time diapers for kids  – they aren’t cheap, I remember. But lucky for me, my friend Amy kindly lent me some – organic even! The first night I wore them, they worked – it was very hard to use the bathroom and re-stuff my self in a small bathroom at a party – I did look very lumpy by the middle of the night. I suggest you use tight, but stretchy jeans.

At the Halloween Party, people were staring at me – especially females – I knew they were wondering if I had implants, but they also know that Marin County is not Miami. It was pretty clear, after a few bathroom visits, and not placing the pull ups correctly that I was smuggling something in my jeans, and it didn’t look pretty.

Here’s the link to the video, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uXcqw0Gjq4E

Get my Look above: 6 pull ups, Zara heels, Gap Skinny jeans, H&M bomber jacket, gold hoops, Chanel bag, braids and lots of eyeliner.

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My little Axl Rose, Liam wanted a Slash side kick, but not many 10 year old kids want to dress up like Slash.

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I had to switch to high top Adidas, and my enormous Louis Vuitton Speedy bag to carry my camera and candy (I like candy) when we went trick-or-treating.  Look at my butt profile – impressive, huh?

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Liam is the only member of my family who will pose with me for my blog, or any social media.. Please say the kid continues to help his mama out ūüôā

But all in all, after much serious research, It’s conclusive, blondes don’t have more fun, but those who stuff their jeans with Pull Ups, actually have the most fun….

Music Festival Haute. Hollen & Jen.

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I’ve loved vintage, when it was called “used”..At age 7, (ask my mom) I would jump for joy at the sight of hand me downs, like I had just won the lottery. Salvation Army – Goodwill – and upscale showrooms like Hollen & Jen have always been my happy places. So when in Miami for New Year’s Eve- I had the pleasure of being photographed in looks I found at Hollen & Jen Showroom – Designer Vintage‚ĶMy Dream!!!

Being influenced by my new town and its bohemian nature РI decided to get in character and pretend I was finding looks for a week long music festival Рahhhhh that would be fun… So here ya go…My music festival editorial..

Photographer Cara called this “the Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks dress”. Perfect attire to see your favorite folk rock band on a beautiful night. ¬†The gold leaf necklace gives the look a Grecian feel. ¬†I think an empire waist flatters most figures – especially when you’re pregnant. ¬†A favorite look used often in the 1970’s, empire waists have stood the test of time.

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This is my ode to the Olsen twins and Lisa Bonet. A favorite look i’ve had since my early days of second hand love- ¬†layering using jackets and vests. ¬†I’m not tall, so in reality, I would have to wear sky high heels to pull this off. And with larger breasts, it’s also really tough to wear non-fitted clothing – but again, I think this looks really cool. And another perfect music festival ensemble- one that’s not in the summer.

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I’ve been using belts as my automatic seamstress for years. This dress, I’ve shortened a good 8 inches – all with the magic of a 1980’s tie belt. ¬†And the off the shoulder action, is only because the dress is a little loose on my frame. ¬†Another benefit of vintage clothing, you really can re-design something for your body..just add a little creativity.

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Accessories and a great pair of jeans – and you can pull anything off. ¬†Feeling funny about showing off your belly? Wear a long necklace with a huge heart to cover most of your belly. ¬†These jeans fit so well. ¬†They’re not tight where my skin goes over the top – which is not a great look when you are revealing your stomach. ¬†Vintage stores have the best collection of jeans, you can find ones to flatter your body shape and they come already worn in!! I adore this white belt with the gold details and have been pulling it off with everything from dresses to leggings. ¬†The fur wrap (I hope it’s faux, but we know it’s old) is great to add warmth and a little 1970’s action‚Ķ. Heels are tough to wear at a music festival, but I’m not one to back out of a challenge ūüôā

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This is not an outfit you can wear sitting on the grass..this mesh shirt looks so fly with the brown leather bomber. The earrings are long and gold – and show up in my wild mane. A tiny, mini skirt is not for everyone – sometimes when it’s denim, it seems more casual and less va va voom. ¬†When I wear very short skirts, I wear boots – usually ankle. ¬†Boots add an edge, and give you rock-n-roll, urban style.

Hollen & Jen Showroom carries an incredible collection of designer vintage – at pretty amazing prices. ¬†Some people get high playing a guitar on stage or jumping out of an airplane, I get high in the presence of second hand clothing, where I can try on things from every generation. ¬†Hollen & Jen have great taste, and can help you pick out the perfect look for a music festival or a South Beach night out – and guess what? No one will be wearing anything remotely like you- – that’s the beauty of vintage. ¬†We’re all unique, and this type of shopping allows us to express our individuality in a fun and creative way. ¬†http://www.hollenandjenshowroom.com

Fashion Shots by the talented, celebrity, rock-n-roll photographer, Cara Bloch, www.carabloch.com