Patagonia Doesn’t Make You a Better Hiker….

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Me. Roy’s Redwoods. Marin County. January 2015.

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So I wore this at a birthday party in the Redwoods last week. I know, I’m very practical and when it comes to clothing it’s all about function and comfort… obviously not, my moccasins were horrible shoes to trek through mud and water – my exposed legs brushed up against poison oak, to which I neurotically had a mom get me a baby wipe to remove all traces of the “so called” poison. The other parents at the party, were so much more prepared, but they did not judge me  – they merely helped navigate me, due to my poor choice in shoe attire…

In actuality, I am surprisingly outdoorsy  – it’s more because I don’t care if I get dirty.  My close friend, who I will protect by not using names, once made fun of my ankle boot choice to hike up a mountain in Ireland. She was decked out in top to bottom Patagonia – she had a vest and then a jacket to go over the vest, hiking boots and a monogrammed back pack. I was less embarrassed to be seen with her in Ireland, it was in Paris where I made her walk 10 feet behind me – come on, she was wearing head to toe fleece!!!

I was prepared for this hike, dressed in all black, with lots of accessories and heels, this friend mocked my outfit and my ability to actually hike.  I kept repeating that I did the teenage version of “Outward Bound” – she laughed and laughed. Let’s just say it all ended in my favor, I ran up that mountain – and “someone” had to stop several times to catch her breath.  Apparently, wearing Patagonia doesn’t make you a better hiker, it just makes you look like a better hiker…

My point in all this..I may not look the part..but maybe, just maybe..I actually can play the part…..

 

Long & Lean at Drop-Off

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Natalie. Mom. Environmental Activist. Film Maker. Marin County. 2015.

Natalie moved from Los Angeles to a bohemian Northern California town, where she and her husband create documentaries.

Not to make this all about Mara Mara, but I must confess that I’ve been wanting to look good in a sun dress since I was a tween. Unfortunately, my curvy body (aka huge boobs) didn’t quite conform to the fabric limitations of a thin strapped, breezy dress. I know you are rolling your eyes, but living in Miami and not being able to wear a cute sun dress was painful. I’m kidding, but I still want to rock a sun dress, preferably a vintage 1990’s Betsy Johnson…man, I would scroll through the racks at Betsey Johnson looking for that perfect floral dress…usually it would end in me buying a mini skirt.

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Natalie has the perfect lean dancer figure to look stunning in this empire waist practically floor length dress.  ahhh to be tall, thin and narrow  – – -what that must be like…

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A little loose bun

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This Mama can Rock a Crop-Top….

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Lorraine. Miami, Florida. December 2015.

How adorable is this mom. Love her style

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Fashion Notes: Pants: Lululemon, Hawaiian inspired crop-top: Vintage store on the Haight in San Francisco, Shoes: Splendid, hat: Nordstrom, Bag: MCM

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We all know that not a day goes by with out me thinking about my amazing denim MCM jacket with the logos and the gold buttons. It was stolen, and I only hope that the person who took it  -appreciates it as much as I did.  MCM is very popular again. I’m a huge fan of going old school with head to toe MCM – it looks amazing. I was raised to think that was tacky,  but sometimes “tacky” is hip. www.mcm,com

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Crop-tops are so possible friends. High waisted pants and a loose fitting mid-driff blouse, is flattering  – even without a flat stomach.

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Little bows on these feminine Splendid sandals

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Love a masculine, big faced watch.

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Do these Leggings make my Labia look Big?

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“I decided to take a good hard look at my vagina; I really had no choice in the matter. My regular waxer mistakingly removed all my hair, because I distracted her with my incessant verbiage to mask my pain. The timing couldn’t be more perfect. My inner Larry David neurotically wondered whether my labia are too big.”

Read the rest of my “Labia” piece in Huffington Post Style….

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mara-menachem/do-these-leggings-make-my-labia-look-big_b_8813794.html

Miami Mamas Don’t Do Mini-Vans.

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Vicky. Miami, Florida. December 2015.

Vicky is from Mexico City.  She studied Fashion Design and had her own line in Mexico City.  Currently, Vicky is living in Miami and using her skills as a painter and designer to create beautiful & fashionable Yoga mats. Her Yoga mat line is launching soon, this will help me “keep my eyes on my own mat”  -as I sometimes have an issue with focusing…ALWAYS, actually.

I’m pretty sure Janis Joplin wrote “Mercedes Benz” after a trip to Miami..”Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz? My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.” Miami is known for its cars and I love that Vicky squeezed three kids in this Porsche.

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Decades after Janis Joplin’s song, Will Smith wrote specifically about Miami’s love of fancy cars in his song Welcome to Miami..”Hundred thousand dollar cars, everybody got ’em”… It’s kind of true – in Miami, it’s not only the wealthy who drive fancy cars. And certainly having kids would never stop Miamians from driving Porsches etc..

My mom drove a station wagon, and that wasn’t the norm..it was convertibles, two-door Mercedes and expensive sports cars. Personally, nothing made me feel cooler than riding around in my Mamas wood paneled station wagon as a kid in Miami – we were “retro” before “retro’ was considered cool. I’m totally kidding, we felt totally dorky in my mom’s station wagon – and my brother reminded me that a wire stuck out of the back, which accidentally caused gashes on our friend’s skin.

My friend’s mom drove a Porsche convertible, that car would pull up to school drop-off and arouse serious attention, my mom’s wagon..not so much. So in some way, I appreciate Vicky squeezing a family into a small, fancy sports car..

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Bag: Hermès

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Shoes: Loeffler Randall at Intermix, www.intermix.com  – I love Intermix, especially when they have sales.

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She’s so pretty and natural with glowing Miami skin. Cap Sleeve Blouse: Zara